That’s the number of unanswered e-mails in my in-box tonight. From the “Death Penalty” post on September 12th to today, that is how many messages I have not had a chance to respond to.
The number of emails, Facebook messages, posts, text messages and phone calls I have answered is easily been double that. I said today to a fellow co-worker that I might be “slow but sure” she said she would just call me a “turtle”. I liked that. Specifically because in my own chaotic world, I may not get to do things as fast and efficient as I would like to but I do get to “it”.
Thanks…
During the last two weeks, I have found it difficult at times to find the right words to express how I truly feel. Honestly, when I sat down to the computer late in the evening on September 17th and looked at my in-box & Facebook the only thing I could think to say was “My cup runneth over…”
Sentimental… overwhelmed… loved… supported… encouraged…
Yes, that’s me.
I’m finding more words…
To hit back on the last few blogs I have posted:
The art exhibit for the Coalition of Arizonans to Abolish the Death Penalty has been cancelled.
I’m not going to comment any further on this ridiculous event they tried to put on.
We are back in a holding pattern for the appeal’s process. All any of us can do is pray and wait. I will keep you updated here.
On the 28th anniversary of Vicki’s death, I shared my cousin, Michelle’s, blog. I feel as though it opened up a flood gate for people. I loved the thoughtfulness of the day, the stories, pictures and memories that people shared. I also deeply appreciated the fact that people could reflect back on a pivotal event almost 30 years ago and know that it continues to shape them.
A few years ago someone said to a mutual friend of mine that they did not understand why I would want to write a book about my sister. Why can I not just let it go? As if I could just brush this under the rug and pretend it didn’t happen to me?
I have lived longer with the memory of Vicki than I lived with her. The emails, calls and texts I have gotten in the last two weeks prove that I’m not the only one who carries on her legacy, who will never forget Vicki Lynne and that terrible day that so many lives changed.
And I know if it had been me, she would honor my life just the same.
My favorite picture of Vicki & I…
I love you. I had a very long response typed out as the comment of someone asking, “Why can’t you just let it go.” I’m sorry but that made my blood boil. Then I lost the whole thing so I will try this again. I applaude you for remembering Vicki Lynn and honoring that memory and making it all count in such a real way. Every piece of our lives are intricately laced into the wholeness of who we are and what we believe and what we do every minute of every day. Vicki Lynn is laced so completely to who you are and the upstanding caring advocate you have been and continue to be. I will tell you Vicki Lynn is also laced to my heart, to how I live as a mother, to how we all grew up and even to my protectiveness I feel over you.(Not that you need that from me by any means but I still feel it.) LOL There are so many ways her life still counts and always will. I know your mother and you both were there for my family in our own nightmare of loss. I am certain without being to the depths of that black ocean of grief and back you could not have the amazing empathy and warmth that you carry through this life. You are a whole person, so many do not achieve that. It is through the hard things, the heart wrenching horrible times that we grow the most, you balance those times with the appreciation of the beautiful days and knowing how blessed you are in those times that make you wise and beautiful and strong. You still have much to achieve for you and Vicki Lynn both and I have no doubt you will do it all and so much more! <3 Love you and am cheering you on always!
Tara,
My dear, sweet, beautiful friend… I’ve tried for two days to figure out how to eloquently respond to you.
I love you, you have been to one end of this journey and back with us. To know that there is never a moment that I couldn’t call you has given me a lot of confidence and peace in the years that we have traveled together.
I am so blessed to have friends like you who will protect me, love me and continue to cheer me on.
I have found often times that is hard for people to understand the magnitude of what happened to so many of us during that time. Moving forward continues to shape and form who we are.
I realize that not everyone will be able to understand our hearts, and that is ok. Those people are the ones who challenge us, and we will continue to overcome.
Thank you, thank you, thank you… I can not say it enough to you, or all the other people who continue to love me, honor Vicki Lynne and will give a good fight as we move forward.
All my love,
Steph