Proud to be a “Bruiser”

Mother’s Day Weekend, Kalispell hosted a mid-season softball tournament, welcoming teams in the 12U Division from Polson, Columbia Falls and Canada.

We were lucky! The weather was AWESOME! And so were the girls that came to play!

Our “Bruisers” started Friday night off with a win, and knowing the challenges we faced on Saturday would be tough. We were back on the fields by 7:42 am Saturday (thanks Coach Brad for the extra 12 minutes of sleep some of us got!) to meet up with a seasoned team from Polson, MT.

The next two competitors were fierce and tested the “Bruisers”. It’s rumored that one pitcher our team was facing was throwing balls anywhere from 60 to 70 mph, depending on who you were talking to. As each girl stepped into the batters box, I knew the feelings they were experiencing. When I was about the same age, I played against, Edith, the fastest, toughest pitcher in the city of Tucson. Trying to find the courage to swing the bat when Edith was in the circle was a challenge for me. She taught me a lot the years I played with her, something I hope our girls took away from this past weekend.

The bonds and lessons the “Bruisers” had from there will be with them forever. It was a lot of hard work. I know they learned a lot about the sport, the ups and downs as a team, the love for the game, and how much their coaches and parents believe in them!  All our players came into the weekend ready to play, and left with some great experience!

A special WOOT! WOOT! to Kali, who lead our team in the “circle” and pitched every game. You are one amazing young woman and you taught me about endurance and determination! I’m very proud of you and I will be glad to watch you pitch in snow, rain or shine any day any time! Keep up the hard work!

A few highlights… Caitlin’s determination with Kali, stopping the balls and staying behind the plate every pitch… Sophie’s amazing dive catch in the infield and home steal! Ashlynn’s outfield catch and cheer that made us all scream along… Hallie’s HoMe-RuN (I KNOW there will be a few more of those hits out of our girls before the season is over!)… our defense had some great double plays and our girls made some amazing progress batting. Hannah, Cortlynn, Suzanne, Makenna and Ty’s “wheels” … they are all  fast, fearless and base running machines! These girls aren’t afraid to steal! Lauren and Mady were timid in the batters box going into Friday but left the games bunting and swinging away!! Very proud!!!  Our girls cheered each other on from the dugout and on the field just as much when the chips were down as they were when things were perfect! I loved the positive attitude that came from our team, it wasn’t’ the same in every dugout! They knew they depended on and respected each other, and it showed!!!

Bruiser's 2013

Bruiser’s 2013

A shout out to our “fans” who moved in on the right & left field lines, cheered the team, encouraging the girls inning after inning!!!! They couldn’t have done it without you all!!!!

And, one last BIG shout out to our coaches Brad, Bruce, Mike, Justin & Patrick. I know as a parent, I feel incredibly blessed to have Madison playing on a team with not only a great group of girls, but with all of you. Your time, positive encouragement and teaching is something that I wish every girl playing could experience! Thank you!!!!

Our team grew and really had an amazing weekend!!!! We placed 4th in the tournament, the last Kalispell team standing! WAY TO GO BRUISERS! I hope that you are as proud of yourselves as your “fans” are!!!

"Bruiser's" May 2013

“Bruiser’s” May 2013

When did 40 happen?!?!

I have jokingly made comments about turning 40 this past weekend, a big milestone  in life, wondering “WHEN THE HELL DID THIS REALLY HAPPEN?” but in retrospect, it’s not heartbreaking, I’m not sad or bothered by it.

When I look in the mirror, I see a person with a lot to be thankful for. Blessed by family and an abundance of friends. Energized with goals that lie ahead. Scarred by the trials of life, educated by their experiences whether they were good or bad.

I’m lucky! I married my best friend who continues to lift me up and encourage me, even on the days I really don’t want to get out of bed. I love you Scott!

Two beautiful girls, Madison & Mackenzie, who amaze me everyday, shower me with unconditional love and inspire me.

I work hard everyday to live without regret. Realizing that each day is a blessing, and there is more out there to accomplish, see and do! If my life wouldn’t have happened just the way it did I wouldn’t be here right now. And I honestly don’t want to be anywhere else!

I don’t feel “old” (not sure why I thought I would?) and I hope that I don’t start dressing like a Grandma! I feel spunky and full of life, liberated in a way that I’m not afraid of who I am.

I’m excited about the years that lie ahead, knowing they will be full great things!

So here’s to spending many years

full of love with Scott,

watching our girls grow,

new adventures, and

I’m sure trials too,

maybe I’ll finally publish a book, or two…

 

Humanities Montana Writing Contest

Late last fall, Madison, along with her classmates, submitted an entry into the 2013 Letters About Literature Contest to the Humanities Montana Organization. The contest invites students to write a letter to an author, living or deceased, to express how reading their book impacted them. Madison wrote to Walter Farley, author of the Black Stallion, on how reading his book inspired her to read on about other famous race horses, and how his characters have inspired her not to give up on her dreams.

On Tuesday, Madison received a letter in the mail notifying her that out of the 462 letters submitted from Montana, that hers was among 50 chosen by the national judges in the Honorable Mention category. Madison, and one other classmate were recognized for their submissions.

As I sat late Tuesday afternoon and listened to her teacher read her letter to her classmates I couldn’t have been prouder. Watching her beam from ear to ear as her classmates congratulated her on her achievements was a moment forever etched in my heart.

It has been another amazing year, with an incredible teacher who has tapped into Madison’s creativity. We are watching her blossom, and she continues to inspire us as she steps out of her comfort zone and tries new things while enjoying the things that she loves the most, horses and drawing.

The letter from the Humanities Montana said, “We hope that literature will always be an important part of your life.” I hope so too!

Congratulations Mady! Mom & Dad are very proud of you!

Madison Honorable Mention 2013

Madison Honorable Mention 2013

Honoring Victim’s Rights

April is National Crime Victim’s Rights Month, it has been honored since 1981.

In September of 1984, when my younger sister, Vicki Lynne, was murdered, Arizona did not have legislation in place to protect us as victim’s of this crime or give us equal rights in the courtroom as we watched the conviction of her murderer take place.

In 1990, after years of hard work by people, including my mom, Debbie Carlson, Arizona  voters passed legislation to implement the Victim’s Bill of Rights, it went into affect in 1991. Today, the Pima County Attorney, Barbara Lawall, and her office still work passionately to keep this legislation in tact, and grow the Victim Witness Program to lead our nation in this movement. It has been a tremendous battle in the years since the changes in these laws have taken place, and such a crucial part of helping victim’s when dealing with heinous crimes.

This past Monday, I took part in a radio interview on the John C. Scott Show (Arizona), with Barbara Lawall to help promote Victim’s Right’s Week and talk about some of the things that happened to us as victim’s prior to the legislative changes that were made in 1991.

02 Stephanie (Hoskinson) Brandt Interview

(Audio Clip from John C. Scott Show, Monday April 15,2013)

During the interview we discussed the hours of depositions that my mom and I were subjected to by the defense counsel and the unfair treatment we had in the courtroom during the sentencing hearing. Two instances in which we, as victims, were treated so unfairly. Today, because of the Victim’s Bill of Rights, this would not happen.

There are many stories to share from our 28 1/2 year journey, many of them start out so inconceivable and end incredibly positive like the legislative changes that were made in 1991.

I hope that we all can take a moment to not only honor Victim’s Rights as a whole, but to also give thanks to those who give so unconditionally in the wake of crime and terror to make a positive impact to those, like ourselves, who are directly affected. There will alway be horrible, terrible people in this world, but the good will always prevail.

 

Yellow Ribbon in Memory  of Vicki Lynne

Yellow Ribbon in Memory
of Vicki Lynne

Reflecting Back on April 12, 1985…

Re-sharing last years blog about April 12, 1985…

Today marks a significant anniversary in my life. It is a day that is forever etched in my mind, a day to reflect and a day to be thankful for.

On September 17, 1984, my 8 year old sister, Vicki Lynne Hoskinson, disappeared from our neighborhood. She had gone on her bike to mail a birthday card to our Aunt Lori for our mom. When she didn’t come home, I road my bike to find her. At that time, being 11, there was no doubt in my mind that she had stopped off at a neighbors or was playing with kids from the neighborhood and had lost track of time. We lived in a community and time when you left the house, played outside & people watched out for each other. Kids didn’t just disappear, and if they did it happened on T.V. and not on your street, let alone to your sister.

Vicki had been gone 6 months, 26 days…. or 207 days total. 

April 12, 1985 was a friday, and I was sitting in Mr. Abrams 6th grade core class. When the door opened and one of the ladies from the office walked in, I knew she was there for me.  Mr. Abrams paused, looking down and then up at me. He squeaked out the the words that I needed to gather my things and go to the office.

I sat in the yellow polyester cushioned chair against the windows that looked down the sidewalk and out into the parking lot. I was 11, and trying to understand the world that I had been thrusted into so many months before. There, in the office of the junior high school, everyone was quiet, and working just as hard at keeping it together as they were trying to act like they were working.

I can not tell you how long I sat in that chair in the window, but I knew when I looked over my left shoulder and saw my parents walking down the sidewalk it’s as if the world stopped.

They had found my sister….

Today, 28 years, 6 months and 26 days later, I can close my eyes and remember that day. The warmth of the Arizona sun through the window in the office, the look first on Mr. Abrams face, then on that of my parents, and the feeling of despair by those who surrounded me.

There are no words to express how incredibly grateful I am for the man who went looking for his dog that day and stumbled upon her remains, for at least we could have closure and lay her to rest.

If I had a penny for every time I thanked him, and those who gave so unconditionally those months we searched for her I would have enough money to buy the world.

Today, I miss Vicki just the same as I have in the 28 1/2 years it has been since she was taken from us. And I appreciate how incredibly blessed I have been in my journey between here and there…

Favorite picture of Vicki & I

Favorite picture of Vicki & I

Springing into Softball Season

Spring has sprung its way into Northwestern Montana with a beautiful Easter weekend, a sunny spring break, followed by a blizzard last Sunday night! People say when you live in the Rockies, you have to be prepared for all four seasons to show up on any given day, and most seasons can show up numerous times in one day.

After a busy winter schedule, followed by basketball season, we are making our way into softball. This will be the first year both girls will play. It hit a sentimental note in my heart tonight, as I thought back to the many years I spent on the field. It was a funny little drive I took down memory lane today…thinking about the friends I still have after meeting on the field and wondering if the girls will have “nicknames” like we did?  Will they be fast? Have a long stretch to play first base? Be great hitters? Or will they hate it?

Although I hope that Madison & Mackenzie have the same passion and love for the sport I once did, I hope that they have a fun season, make lasting friendships and it doesn’t snow! First games are on Saturday… we will keep you posted!

And she rode away…

Yesterday, Mackenzie asked her daddy to take her training wheels off her bike.  (A note to our family and friends in the warmer regions of the country, the bikes have been put away since last fall and just recently saw daylight.)

After several attempts through the grass in the yard, and up and down our driveway yesterday, Mackenzie & Scott called it good. She was getting it, but I assumed that it would take a lot more practice before she went off on her own.

On the way home from school today, Mack asked if I would help her practice again. Of course, I could!!  After two trips through the grass she asked to go on the road. Although hesitant, I couldn’t say no. I ran up and down our dirt road twice before I stopped and watched her ride away without me running beside her. Sniff sniff

It seems like yesterday I was holding her in my arms for the first time and today as she took her maiden voyage on her little pink bike with the tassels from the handlebars blowing in the wind, I realized how fast time was flying by. Kindergarten today, college tomorrow. Her little pink bike or driving off in her first car, our girls are growing up so fast…

And she rode away... March 2013

And she rode away… March 2013

Amazing Moments…

Not long ago, as I tucked the girls into bed, we did our normal bedtime exchange… hugs, kisses, thankfulness, a prayer. As I am turning the lights out Mackenzie usually tells me that she forgot to “give” me something.

I go back for one more hug, another kiss. That particular evening Mackenzie started with, “Mom, I love you the most”.

I replied, “I love you more”.

She said, “I love you the most-est”.

I said “I love you to the moon”.

She replied, “I love you to Vicki and back”. With a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, I said, “I love you to Vicki and back too.”

It is incredible to me, that at five, my little freckle faced girl has such a grasp on life, heaven, and that her extra bedtime gifts can give me such amazing joy in my heart.

It felt as if at that particular moment, Vicki was standing in the room with us, saying good night and kissing us too. In my heart I know she was. Amazing moments like these seem to make everything ok…

Vicki & I 1979

Vicki & I 1979

Over The Rainbow Memorials

Almost five years ago, an amazing and beautiful friend named Krista entered my world. We have shared a lot in our short journey together, and I feel so blessed to have her in my life. Aside from being one of my very best friends, she is an amazing artist. I was immediately drawn to her work, and knew that being brought together was not a conciendence.

Krista, through her company Over The Rainbow Memorials, makes handcrafted glass memorials to help us honor and remember our loved ones.

I went to Krista and asked her to make me a pendant in memory of Vicki. Typically, she takes ash or hair from your loved one and uses it to create a memorial. I had neither to offer… just two trunks of Vicki’s personal things that mom had kept through the years. When we discussed what was in the trunks, I mentioned that I had the outfit that Vicki came home from the hospital in and her “Brownie” uniform.

Krista immediately had the idea to take snippets of her clothing, two things with so much meaning, and use them to create my memorial.

She made me a pendant with seas of blue that can take me right into Vicki’s eyes. Sparkles of pink, her favorite color, as the snippets of fabric run through the glass. Just holding the pendant in my hands fill my heart with an amazing amount of joy and comfort.

We have asked Krista again to make a few more pieces for loved ones, and when she finished this heart pendant for my sister, Carie, I was amazed again. She not only captured the blues of Vicki’s eyes, but colors that fit Carie’s style so well. I am anxious to see the rest of the memorials as she finishes them.

Krista continues to amaze me with the compassion and love she puts into the memorials she makes for us to remember our loved ones by. It is a gift and talent that is treasured.

You can view Krista’s work on her website at  www.otrmemorials.com or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/OTRMemorials.

A heart for Carie in Memory of Vicki Lynne

A heart for Carie in Memory of Vicki Lynne

Vicki Lynne Mile Clean Up, Court Hearing Update

Just a reminder  SUNDAY, MARCH 17th is the quarterly clean up for the mile in Memory of Vicki Lynne.

I can not say thank you enough to our family and friends in Arizona who help us give back to our community in honor of Vicki.

I originally posted the information on this clean-up on February 28th. If you have any questions regarding this upcoming date, please feel free to contact me.

Last week there was a hearing in U.S. District Court on Atwood’s Motion for Reconsideration based on the Martinez vs. Ryan claim. The Martinez vs. Ryan claim has affected many death penalty cases, including ours. The court took the hearing under advisement and is waiting for a ruling by the United States Supreme Court in another case before it will issue a ruling in this case. It may be mid-summer before we know the outcome.

If the judge rules against Atwood, it will go to the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals and onto the U.S. Supreme Court.

Here is a link to the article from the Arizona Daily Star on the hearing: http://bit.ly/YfW3pB

As we wait for the final months of this story to unfold, all we can do is pray and wait. I look optimistically forward, and feel so incredibly blessed by the amount of support we continue to receive.

I will keep you posted as soon as we have any new information.