When did 40 happen?!?!

I have jokingly made comments about turning 40 this past weekend, a big milestone  in life, wondering “WHEN THE HELL DID THIS REALLY HAPPEN?” but in retrospect, it’s not heartbreaking, I’m not sad or bothered by it.

When I look in the mirror, I see a person with a lot to be thankful for. Blessed by family and an abundance of friends. Energized with goals that lie ahead. Scarred by the trials of life, educated by their experiences whether they were good or bad.

I’m lucky! I married my best friend who continues to lift me up and encourage me, even on the days I really don’t want to get out of bed. I love you Scott!

Two beautiful girls, Madison & Mackenzie, who amaze me everyday, shower me with unconditional love and inspire me.

I work hard everyday to live without regret. Realizing that each day is a blessing, and there is more out there to accomplish, see and do! If my life wouldn’t have happened just the way it did I wouldn’t be here right now. And I honestly don’t want to be anywhere else!

I don’t feel “old” (not sure why I thought I would?) and I hope that I don’t start dressing like a Grandma! I feel spunky and full of life, liberated in a way that I’m not afraid of who I am.

I’m excited about the years that lie ahead, knowing they will be full great things!

So here’s to spending many years

full of love with Scott,

watching our girls grow,

new adventures, and

I’m sure trials too,

maybe I’ll finally publish a book, or two…

 

Humanities Montana Writing Contest

Late last fall, Madison, along with her classmates, submitted an entry into the 2013 Letters About Literature Contest to the Humanities Montana Organization. The contest invites students to write a letter to an author, living or deceased, to express how reading their book impacted them. Madison wrote to Walter Farley, author of the Black Stallion, on how reading his book inspired her to read on about other famous race horses, and how his characters have inspired her not to give up on her dreams.

On Tuesday, Madison received a letter in the mail notifying her that out of the 462 letters submitted from Montana, that hers was among 50 chosen by the national judges in the Honorable Mention category. Madison, and one other classmate were recognized for their submissions.

As I sat late Tuesday afternoon and listened to her teacher read her letter to her classmates I couldn’t have been prouder. Watching her beam from ear to ear as her classmates congratulated her on her achievements was a moment forever etched in my heart.

It has been another amazing year, with an incredible teacher who has tapped into Madison’s creativity. We are watching her blossom, and she continues to inspire us as she steps out of her comfort zone and tries new things while enjoying the things that she loves the most, horses and drawing.

The letter from the Humanities Montana said, “We hope that literature will always be an important part of your life.” I hope so too!

Congratulations Mady! Mom & Dad are very proud of you!

Madison Honorable Mention 2013

Madison Honorable Mention 2013

Honoring Victim’s Rights

April is National Crime Victim’s Rights Month, it has been honored since 1981.

In September of 1984, when my younger sister, Vicki Lynne, was murdered, Arizona did not have legislation in place to protect us as victim’s of this crime or give us equal rights in the courtroom as we watched the conviction of her murderer take place.

In 1990, after years of hard work by people, including my mom, Debbie Carlson, Arizona  voters passed legislation to implement the Victim’s Bill of Rights, it went into affect in 1991. Today, the Pima County Attorney, Barbara Lawall, and her office still work passionately to keep this legislation in tact, and grow the Victim Witness Program to lead our nation in this movement. It has been a tremendous battle in the years since the changes in these laws have taken place, and such a crucial part of helping victim’s when dealing with heinous crimes.

This past Monday, I took part in a radio interview on the John C. Scott Show (Arizona), with Barbara Lawall to help promote Victim’s Right’s Week and talk about some of the things that happened to us as victim’s prior to the legislative changes that were made in 1991.

02 Stephanie (Hoskinson) Brandt Interview

(Audio Clip from John C. Scott Show, Monday April 15,2013)

During the interview we discussed the hours of depositions that my mom and I were subjected to by the defense counsel and the unfair treatment we had in the courtroom during the sentencing hearing. Two instances in which we, as victims, were treated so unfairly. Today, because of the Victim’s Bill of Rights, this would not happen.

There are many stories to share from our 28 1/2 year journey, many of them start out so inconceivable and end incredibly positive like the legislative changes that were made in 1991.

I hope that we all can take a moment to not only honor Victim’s Rights as a whole, but to also give thanks to those who give so unconditionally in the wake of crime and terror to make a positive impact to those, like ourselves, who are directly affected. There will alway be horrible, terrible people in this world, but the good will always prevail.

 

Yellow Ribbon in Memory  of Vicki Lynne

Yellow Ribbon in Memory
of Vicki Lynne

Reflecting Back on April 12, 1985…

Re-sharing last years blog about April 12, 1985…

Today marks a significant anniversary in my life. It is a day that is forever etched in my mind, a day to reflect and a day to be thankful for.

On September 17, 1984, my 8 year old sister, Vicki Lynne Hoskinson, disappeared from our neighborhood. She had gone on her bike to mail a birthday card to our Aunt Lori for our mom. When she didn’t come home, I road my bike to find her. At that time, being 11, there was no doubt in my mind that she had stopped off at a neighbors or was playing with kids from the neighborhood and had lost track of time. We lived in a community and time when you left the house, played outside & people watched out for each other. Kids didn’t just disappear, and if they did it happened on T.V. and not on your street, let alone to your sister.

Vicki had been gone 6 months, 26 days…. or 207 days total. 

April 12, 1985 was a friday, and I was sitting in Mr. Abrams 6th grade core class. When the door opened and one of the ladies from the office walked in, I knew she was there for me.  Mr. Abrams paused, looking down and then up at me. He squeaked out the the words that I needed to gather my things and go to the office.

I sat in the yellow polyester cushioned chair against the windows that looked down the sidewalk and out into the parking lot. I was 11, and trying to understand the world that I had been thrusted into so many months before. There, in the office of the junior high school, everyone was quiet, and working just as hard at keeping it together as they were trying to act like they were working.

I can not tell you how long I sat in that chair in the window, but I knew when I looked over my left shoulder and saw my parents walking down the sidewalk it’s as if the world stopped.

They had found my sister….

Today, 28 years, 6 months and 26 days later, I can close my eyes and remember that day. The warmth of the Arizona sun through the window in the office, the look first on Mr. Abrams face, then on that of my parents, and the feeling of despair by those who surrounded me.

There are no words to express how incredibly grateful I am for the man who went looking for his dog that day and stumbled upon her remains, for at least we could have closure and lay her to rest.

If I had a penny for every time I thanked him, and those who gave so unconditionally those months we searched for her I would have enough money to buy the world.

Today, I miss Vicki just the same as I have in the 28 1/2 years it has been since she was taken from us. And I appreciate how incredibly blessed I have been in my journey between here and there…

Favorite picture of Vicki & I

Favorite picture of Vicki & I

Over The Rainbow Memorials

Almost five years ago, an amazing and beautiful friend named Krista entered my world. We have shared a lot in our short journey together, and I feel so blessed to have her in my life. Aside from being one of my very best friends, she is an amazing artist. I was immediately drawn to her work, and knew that being brought together was not a conciendence.

Krista, through her company Over The Rainbow Memorials, makes handcrafted glass memorials to help us honor and remember our loved ones.

I went to Krista and asked her to make me a pendant in memory of Vicki. Typically, she takes ash or hair from your loved one and uses it to create a memorial. I had neither to offer… just two trunks of Vicki’s personal things that mom had kept through the years. When we discussed what was in the trunks, I mentioned that I had the outfit that Vicki came home from the hospital in and her “Brownie” uniform.

Krista immediately had the idea to take snippets of her clothing, two things with so much meaning, and use them to create my memorial.

She made me a pendant with seas of blue that can take me right into Vicki’s eyes. Sparkles of pink, her favorite color, as the snippets of fabric run through the glass. Just holding the pendant in my hands fill my heart with an amazing amount of joy and comfort.

We have asked Krista again to make a few more pieces for loved ones, and when she finished this heart pendant for my sister, Carie, I was amazed again. She not only captured the blues of Vicki’s eyes, but colors that fit Carie’s style so well. I am anxious to see the rest of the memorials as she finishes them.

Krista continues to amaze me with the compassion and love she puts into the memorials she makes for us to remember our loved ones by. It is a gift and talent that is treasured.

You can view Krista’s work on her website at  www.otrmemorials.com or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/OTRMemorials.

A heart for Carie in Memory of Vicki Lynne

A heart for Carie in Memory of Vicki Lynne

Vicki Lynne Mile Clean Up, Court Hearing Update

Just a reminder  SUNDAY, MARCH 17th is the quarterly clean up for the mile in Memory of Vicki Lynne.

I can not say thank you enough to our family and friends in Arizona who help us give back to our community in honor of Vicki.

I originally posted the information on this clean-up on February 28th. If you have any questions regarding this upcoming date, please feel free to contact me.

Last week there was a hearing in U.S. District Court on Atwood’s Motion for Reconsideration based on the Martinez vs. Ryan claim. The Martinez vs. Ryan claim has affected many death penalty cases, including ours. The court took the hearing under advisement and is waiting for a ruling by the United States Supreme Court in another case before it will issue a ruling in this case. It may be mid-summer before we know the outcome.

If the judge rules against Atwood, it will go to the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals and onto the U.S. Supreme Court.

Here is a link to the article from the Arizona Daily Star on the hearing: http://bit.ly/YfW3pB

As we wait for the final months of this story to unfold, all we can do is pray and wait. I look optimistically forward, and feel so incredibly blessed by the amount of support we continue to receive.

I will keep you posted as soon as we have any new information.

Vicki Lynne Mile Clean-Up

It is time for the quarterly clean up of the mile in Memory of Vicki Lynne.

Vicki, Age 4

Vicki, Age 4

As you may know, our family has joined with two others to keep three miles of highway clean in north Tucson in memory of our loved ones. We break into groups, if you show up to do Vicki’s mile, you will actually be cleaning up her mile.

The date has been set for Sunday, March 17th at 8:00 am. 

My sister, Carie, has taken over the primary responsibility for the mile in honor of Vicki as our parents are now here in Montana. She has the support and help of our brother, Brian as well. We ask that if you can attend that you meet at Anthony & Crystal Cillittos house at 8:00 am. You can shuttle over to the mile sites from there.

Crystal will go over the rules with you before you start. Remember to bring gloves, a garbage picker upper (if you have one), hat, water etc. Safety vests will be provided. No children under 12 allowed. (State rules…sorry) wear good shoes, no sandals or shorts.

Anthony’s address: 15431 N. Coronado Forest Dr. in Catalina.

The clean up normally takes about 1- 1 1/2 hours depending on the number of people who show up to volunteer.

Our family is so incredibly grateful for those who can help us give back to our community. I wish that I could be there to participate in the clean-up but can not make it this time.

Please do not hesitate to contact me directly with any questions you may have.

Thanks again for your continued love and support!!!

 

Speck of Evidence

Tonight as I was searching the internet, I came across a show my mom & I did in 1999 for The Medical Detectives, Forensic Files Series. It covers the forensic science that linked Frank Atwood to the murder of Vicki.

It shows the series is currently being aired on TruTV.  I am not sure how long it will be available to view on TruTV or via this website.

http://www.forensicfiles.com/speck-of-evidence.html **This link is no longer available, sorry!**

It is another piece of the puzzle that has spanned the last 29 years and very informative from the scientific perspective.

Still difficult to watch when they show Vicki’s remains but then I think of this moment…

 

Favorite picture of Vicki & I

Favorite picture of Vicki & I

Wondering about Frankie’s Return Policy?

Many times in the recent weeks I have questioned my sanity, and wondered what we were thinking when we allowed “Frankie” to bring us TWO kittens for Christmas. I  have even joked with Madison and Mackenzie about returning Samuel & Snow Socks to the North Pole, don’t Santa’s elves have a return policy?

The christmas tree made it through the holidays without being tipped over, however, I must disclose it would have taken a big force to knock it out of the heavy metal stand it was placed in. Many of the ornaments were knocked off the tree as Samuel found himself climbing to the top on numerous occasions.

Snow Socks & Samuel “chatter”, it’s funny to hear their voices, which is different than their purring. I think they are talking back to me sometimes when I am telling them to get off the table or getting them out of the plants.

I am surprised out how much these two little kittens eat… I think Flomar, our 65 pound Labrador, may actually eat less.  We won’t even discuss the litter box. I seriously need to watch Meet the Parents to see how Robert De Niro trained his kitty, Mr. Jinx, to go in the potty and flush the toilet!

Speaking of flushing, Snow Socks is fascinated by the toilet and we are having to enforce a strict lid down policy in the house! Not to mention, we can’t put the toilet paper on the roll in the downstairs bathroom as they unravel it any chance they get.

Wonder where the water goes?

Wonder where the water goes?

And the chewing! They chew EVERYTHING! We must have been lucky when we got Flomar, he was never destructive when it came to things in the house, nor does he get in the trash. He will destroy a newly purchased dog bed or “undesctructable” dog toy in no time, but he has always left our personal items alone. Samuel and Snow Socks are a completely different story!

They can fling dirt out of a potted plant further than an NFL kicker punting a field goal and there isn’t a safe spot in the house. They climb and jump in places I never imagined they would.

And, they are FAST. They race around the house as if it is the final laps of the Daytona 500… 2 wide, side by side! Just a warning, if you happen to stop by during “race time” you are considered a moving target and may find a cat clinging from your pants or shirt!

Here they sleep so quiet and peaceful, and I can’t help but think that Snow Sock’s black tipped nose is just kissable and how sweet it is that they are so snuggly?

 

Snuggly sweet

Snuggly sweet

All joking aside, I couldn’t imagine our lives without them. There is not much that happens in the house that Samuel, Snow Socks & Flomar aren’t right at our feet. The girls play with them for hours and it is amusing to listen to the conversations they have with our four legged friends. They are a lot of company, and when they snuggle up to sleep by us it brings us all a lot of joy and comfort. And there is nothing about that that I would ever want to change.

 

 

 

“Hound Hog’s Day”

Ground Hog’s Day, jokingly known as “Hound Hog Day”, is also my sister, Vicki’s birthday.

This week at school our girl’s learned about Punxsutawney Phil and what it means if he will see his shadow or not.  As we discussed the meaning of today, I shared with the girls that Ground Hog’s Day is also Aunt Vicki’s birthday. And how when she was small she couldn’t say her “G’s” very well so she would call it “Hound Hog’s Day”.

Madison & Mackenzie often ask me questions about Vicki. “Mom, Did Aunt Vicki like horses?” “Do you think she would like to ski?” “What was her favorite color?” “Did she draw well?”“Did she play with dolls?” “Could she run fast?”

These questions happen randomly and sometimes catch me off-guard. It makes me happy they are curious to know more about her, but it also has made me realize that sometimes we may talk more about what happened to Vicki than about her life.

Vicki's 8th Birthday Party

Vicki’s 8th Birthday Party

Vicki’s favorite color was pink and she loved Strawberry Shortcake.

She was a fierce competitor and would “scrap with the best of them” if you ask our elementary p.e. teacher, Coach Hall.

Vicki had a fire in her eyes that let you know she was serious, and a smile to go with her amazing blue eyes that would melt your heart.

She would light up a room when she walked in and entertained you.

Vicki did not liked to be teased about her freckles… aka… angel kisses.

Her nickname was “Oooggle Boogle”.

She wanted to learn to twirl a baton.

Vicki was proud of her younger brother, and giggled when we dressed him up in girls clothes and strolled him around the block..

She was proud to be a “Girl Scout Brownie”… we still have her uniform.

Vicki spent many Saturday nights cheering her Papas on at the race track, she was proud of him!

She loved tacos, but hated pizza.

Vicki was “Annie’s” double.

She loved her pink bike.

Vicki was a softball playing machine. And, she meant business on the field. This must have been a natural family talent.

She loved playing barbies and having sleepovers.

We loved it when our Aunt Kimmy made us spaghetto’s and french fries.

And, although I have many memories, one of my favorites is the times we spent out underneath the starry skies at the lake.

Today I hope that if you didn’t know her before she passed away, that you know a little more about her now.

Her life was short, but it was packed full of LIFE. And, I never want to lose sight of that or stop sharing our stories and memories of her.

Happy 37th Birthday Vicki… We love and miss you!